At 34 years old I am in my sexual prime as a woman. I think nasty thoughts as often as the average man (which mass media has informed us is about every 5 minutes…something like that). Stepping out of the shower and seeing my naked body turns me on and when I am near my MAN, I want to attack him.
In short, my hormones are controlling me rather than the other way around, and frankly, I think I am smarter than my hormones. I am striving to be a classy woman, and I believe self-control is a major quality of such a woman.
Besides being classy, the aforementioned MAN and I are about to be separated for 7 months. I am temporarily moving to another city for work, and we won’t be able to exchange our beautiful energies with each other on a regular basis. Never been a better time to practice brahmacharya, the fourth of the yoga yamas, which means celibacy. It’s a particularly important yama for a Miami Yogi, in my opinion, since our Vice City is so sexually charged. It’s one thing to be a New Yorker wreaking havoc for a weekend, and quite another to be a local trying to live a relatively sane existence. It’s crazy here. You’d think after 7 years the shock of Miami’s openly sexual culture would be old hat. Not so. I come from an extreme Puritanical upbringing, which is the reason I want to be here, however, I haven’t successfully desensitized, and I am not convinced that swinging from partner to partner is as liberating as it’s advertised on all the cheesy t-shirts on Washington Avenue.
Nonetheless, I am not as squeamish as I used to be. I explored my sexuality and I came to the conclusion that I prefer one special MAN. As soon as I found him, I knew I could evolve into the classy woman I so want to be, while reserving my inner slut just for him. Nice, right?
It sucks that we have to be apart for 7 months! But he said it would be a good test for both of us. He’s right. Again, never been a better time for brahmacharya. I imagine it would be much easier later in life when my libido has lessened. But it’s happening NOW. For a minute, I thought he and I could push the PAUSE button and just play with others. I mean, why should we deprive ourselves of our bodies’ natural needs while we are apart?
While most would say, “Duh – you have to be faithful in a relationship, otherwise, just be single,” my reasons have nothing to do with morality and everything to do with science.
It all comes down to ENERGY EFFICIENCY.
There is a considerable amount of energy required to power the SEX MACHINE.
“When will he call? Does he love me? Why doesn’t he like to kiss me? Are we going to get married? Will I get pregnant? Will I catch an STD? When will he call? When will I see him again? Why doesn’t he laugh at my jokes? Why am I not laughing at his jokes? Does my breath smell? I forgot to shave my bush. Does he think that girl is sexier than I am? When are we going to get married? If we get married, will we stop having sex? Why didn’t I have an orgasm? Does he care that I didn’t have an orgasm? Does he think I’m slutty for having an orgasm? Why can’t I focus on work? Do his friends like me? Does his mother like me? Does his roommate like me? Does he like me? Should I stop talking? Should I buy a prettier bra? Why doesn’t he do more romantic things? Is he still attracted to me? Why doesn’t he want to meet my parents?”
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yoga chitta vritti neruda. The cessation of the fluctuations of the mind.
Brahmacharya may very well help me become more energy efficient, where all the energy I spend on worrying and second guessing myself, will become energy that is used for the creation process. Orange Chakra is located within the reproductive organs because this is where creation occurs. If I free up this space the same way I free up my hard drive for an upgrade on my computer, I may run more efficiently.
Get it? Got it? OK. It’s going to be a difficult process. Because brahmacharya means no sex AND no lustful THOUGHTS. So, all this energy will manifest below, in the form of writing. I am a writer. This is my creative expression. There will be lots of venting in the hyperlinks below. I will publish every Orange Chakra Tuesday. And I think because this is the 21st century and I am NOT a nun or a monk, I will allow myself some discretions when my MAN visits. Hee hee!
February 16: Is Sexuality Relevant to Spirituality?
February 23: Formulas for Transforming Dark Energy Into Light Energy
March 2: Taking Sex Off Its Pedestal
March 16: Why I Suck at Relationships
March 23: ADDictive Personality & Co-Dependency
March 30: The Biological Clock vs. The Life Purpose
April 6: Yoga Chitta Vritti Neruda
April 20: Embracing the Side Story
May 4: Why Long-Term Relationships in Miami Don’t Last
May 11: Non-Linear Relationships
May 25: Eastern Body, Western Mind
June 1: Will I Ever Be a Lover Again?
June 8: I Am On a Mission to Make Myself More Energy Efficient
June 29: Who Will Help Me Break My Celibacy?
July 13: The same problems will follow me no matter where I go
July 20: Practicing Independence From Co-Dependence
July 27: I could soar if I didn’t get so hung up on the details and obstacles
August 3: Do I Look Like a Prostitute?
August 17: I am not chasing anyone or anything anymore
THE END!