I’ve been here and there and everywhere, not planting anything long enough to watch the roots grow into something lovely and beautiful that could give me sustainable joy. Apparently I am typical of my generation. I prolonged childhood, avoided commitment and experimented with my identity when I “should have” been getting married, working full-time and raising a couple of kids. Read about it in the New York Times…
I’ve been a child all my life, but now that I am 35 and taking my first steps as a woman, it seems I might be ready to make my own H-O-M-E.
Granted, I already made my first home in Miami. It is my escape to the beach and warmth, and eventually it may become the place to which I retire. Right now it is empty, and I like the prospect of going there a couple of times this fall to enjoy my favorite art events.
In the meantime, the next four months will be about making my second home in Washington, DC. I never expected to end up in our nation’s capital. I thought I would be here for six months and then return to Miami. But that’s the thing with expectations – they are pretty much useless when it comes to true education and evolution. I have also learned that attachment to a particular outcome does not yield happiness. By embracing uncertainty and allowing surprises to steer the course of my life, I wrote a completely different, unexpected ending to my 7 Months of Brahmacharya story.
Month 1: September
It is Labor Day, 6:53am and I am lying on a borrowed air mattress in the one bedroom of my new apartment in Petworth – yeah, sounds like a superstore to buy goldfish and dog biscuits, so I have decided to rename this upcoming neighborhood of Washington, DC something a little “sexier…” Miami. Yeah, my heart is still there and I am still a Miami Yogi even though I have been living and working in our nation’s capital for 7 months now. And I happened to find a new apartment building that’s got all the bells and whistles of a Miami lifestyle, from illuminated pink elevators to Millennium Falcon style hallways to a sci fi Barbarella style party room.
It’s the kind of place a Miami girl can call home in a city that takes itself entirely too seriously. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – I take my job seriously when I am there. When I am not, I disconnect and relax. No need to be ALL about it. Been there done that, a Miami Yogi knows life needs balance.
I’ve spent the first week in my new digs re-adjusting the energy from the previous owner’s to my own. This involves baking soda in the refrigerator, scrubbing bathroom fixtures and burning sage and candles.
I have no furniture in the living room so the window has become my entertainment center and the floor has become my yoga mat.
The previous owner left me just enough supplies in the kitchen so I can boil and strain discounted pasta I bought at the conveniently located Safeway across the street. No gourmet eating for me this month now that I am paying two rents. I have set an intention to rent my condo in Miami to the right person by October, and it will help that I am flying down there this month to show it myself.
Amazing how the clarity comes on a Monday morning after the doubts of a Sunday. Yesterday my mind wouldn’t stop spinning with worry. I was constantly checking Facebook, email, texts, and calling people. Totally needy and not until I took a 4pm Boundless Yoga class did I reach the peaceful place I prefer. And then I was able to understand that my neediness on a Sunday is because that is the day I reserve for connecting with my global family. And sometimes all these high tech gadgets I rely on just don’t replace the face-to-face or a hug and a smile.
But no one was around yesterday until later in the evening, so I had to tap into everything I taught myself in the Second/ Orange Chakra chapter. That was all about entertaining myself and using my creative energy in productive ways like writing, editing mash-up videos and drawing. Working on my computer, however, was the last thing I wanted to do on this gorgeous Sunday.
So I put on my sneakers and started walking. Even though the Soundtrack of Worry and Doubt was skipping in my silly brain, my feet were on the ground. I was consciously trying to re-connect with it.
I found myself walking into Best Buy to look at touch screen desktops. They had 20-inch screens and they seemed too small. How much larger can the 23-inch be? Is it so much of a difference that I should pay $500 more? Is this going to be a significant piece of furniture in my new home?
I am already spending money on a flight to Miami and car rental this month and I will have to fly down again in October. I also have to buy a flight to Orlando in December for the holidays.
After sizing up the touch screens at Best Buy, my legs took me down to U Street and I wandered into furniture stores. For the first time I was interested in what was there. Urban Lofts was full of artistic, clean and modern pieces, namely a folding writing desk with small drawers lining its perimeter. I already have a writing desk built in to the wall next to the kitchen, so what I really need is a chair. As I walked into “Millennium,” my style hit me. Mid-century modern. Totally reminds me of the Miami Modern architecture along Biscayne Boulevard. The “diamond chair” is what I want for my little desk area. There were some stools for the kitchen here, too, but I didn’t like them enough to want to buy them. I may have better luck on Craigslist, where there is a ton of reasonably priced, barely used furniture for sale. I also found a ton of platform beds. This doesn’t have to be something fancy and overpriced like the one I saw for $950 at Urban Lofts. It was nice because it had drawers underneath, but it’s just a flat surface to place a mattress – now that, I would invest in. It’s gotta be new. Does it have to be memory foam? I don’t know. I seem to sleep fine no matter where I go, but I do love a big, pillow covered princess bed with a down comforter.
Oh, geez. The price of all this stuff is adding up.
The truth is that I took over someone else’s lease for the next 9 months at a discounted rate. After that, I wouldn’t want to pay full price. It’s too much without building equity.
I am not living here because it is where I will be for the next five years. I am living here to develop the story of the Femmebot. Who is she? What is her mission? Inside, she is Chakra Girl, who is love and light.
Nine months is the gestation period. What kind of baby am I giving birth to? My last goal was to pay off my karmic debt. I achieved this for the most part. Cut it by 80%.
I can use the lobby as my living room for a while. There is free wifi there. No need to get my own. And I can also go to the coffee house down the street. Love that place!