Leaking Energy

We all know what it means to be an “energy sucker.” These are the people we try to avoid in life, right?
They only call when they need something. They have a way of making you feel like you haven’t done enough…even if you have. They forget your birthday. And the worst – they never ask you how you are.

I think Luscious Jackson sums it up best…

Hey, energy sucker
I’m a goddess, not your mother
You’re soulless

You have got the pull of a riptide
Too tight man soon you’re gonna suck me in
I better stay tough or you’re gonna get me
Oh now I wish that you never met me
You’re the type who’s nice just to get things
I can’t relax cuz you’re standing in your own wings
You pretend you’re grown up and satisfied
That’s another lie
What can you give me?

But doesn’t it take two to tango? If someone is an energy sucker, then the person they are sucking that energy from must be an energy leaker. This is the person who hasn’t created boundaries for him or herself. This person is a mushy ameoba who overcompensates, usually because of a lack of self esteem.

“If I don’t give to this energy sucker, he won’t like me! Boo hoo!”

Sad, right? I used to be an energy leaker until I read a research paper about how our world’s economic and political leaders mis-manage energy, i.e., oil, coal, solar, water, wind, etc. I suddenly realized I had been mis-managing my own energy. I was a running faucet of water that never turned off because it seemed like everyone around me was thirsty for this, for that…

Work: “Hey, did you finish that report?”
Man: “I need you to focus on me 24/7.”
Girlfriends: “I thought you were going to plan all the details of the party?”
Bills: “Remember that trip to India?”
Family: “Well, you always call, so I figure I don’t have to call you.”

Again, so sad. And I was so tired. I thought the only way out of this viscious cycle was death. So I made believe I died. I completely stopped the flow of energy to every single person in my life for about a month.

Now I’m through and I know just what to do
I’m cuttin you off, yeah it’s true
I’m cuttin you off, yeah you.
I gotta get out quick, gotta get out quick, I gotta get out quick…

Something remarkable happened. The energy I had been spending on other people started energizing my own body. I realized I didn’t need anybody’s permission to live, and more importantly, I didn’t need their seal of approval on who I was. I stopped worrying about what others thought (which probably takes up about 50% of one’s energy), and started creating. I couldn’t believe how much time and space I had available to me all of the sudden. No wonder I had been ineffective in accomplishing my tasks! My brain and my body had no vacancy for the creation process. It was full of fear, which is a powerful, dark energy that can only manifest other dark energies like frustration, sadness, anger, resentment, et. al.