The Femmebots Are for Sale

by drnutmegin Business, Newson Posted on

Welcome to the Fake News. I’m Femmebot 8.0 reporting live from the Femmebot Hacker House in Bed Stuy.

In today’s top headlines, The Femmebots are officially on the market. That’s Right! Seven episodes are for sale to the highest bidder, starting at $23,510.18. According to the Big Data crawlers,  Pink Robots are totally in style and buyers are lining up! While some are offering dinner for two followed by a roll in their bed and absolutely No breakfast or cab money for the ride of shame back to the Hacker House, others are offering wildly blind spots in their understanding of Femmebot programming, with a heaping side of bullshit and procrastination. For those with higher offers and an actual interest in doing a business deal, please send Femmebot 6.0 an email.

In other news, wait. I don’t think there really is any other news except for that. I mean, really, c’mon, we know what the Fake News really is: my anger. My rage. I’m fucking pissed. I mean – Morgan Freeman? #HimToo?

I am having trouble pitching men with business ideas.

We meet, we exchange ideas, I tell them about my work, they tell me about their work and when I initiate potential collaboration they try to turn it into a date. 

It’s literally happening with every single one of my male prospects.
They have no interest in doing business with me. They only want to date me. Waa Waa Waa, poor you, boys like you! I’m not complaining. I know it shouldn’t be a liability, I should be able to sell ice to Eskimos with this ass, but hey, it’s not my style, I’m classy, OK?? I wonder what I am doing wrong. Is it biology? I’m not trying to debate biology, y’all. Just trying to pay my piddly rent over here in the damn hood.
Anyways…
Why am I sharing all this with you?
Cuz I imagine you must go thru this stuff and all other kinds of frustrations in life. I’ve never had the chance to listen to you. Cuz you’ve always just silently struggled. I do know you go downstairs to scream when the kids aren’t home. And your glass of wine at nite keeps you sane. And you have your prayer for strength in your closet.
But really, I know nothing about you. I know you like to share about your fam on FB. But who are you?
Thanks for tuning in. I’m Femmebot 8.0.