Welcome to the Fake News.
I’m Femmebot 6.0 reporting “LIVE” from the Capital of Isms. In this week’s top Fake News, Orlando is the #1 Emerging Tech City in the US according to a 2019 CBRE real estate report –
Femmebot 5.0: A report? Olha so…this is called marketing, not reporting. Supposedly Sao Paolo has the fastest ISP speeds in Brazil –
Femmebot 1.0: Orlando? Orlando is THE FASTEST emerging tech city? Wow!! Orlando isn’t just the #1 place for F-U-N in the blazing S-U-N! It’s also
home base for Fattmerchant, ranked 217 on the 2019 #Inc5000 list by @Inc… they’ve been in business 5 years, with more than 5,000 customers, and more than $5 billion in processing, and one of the fastest-growing companies in America!
Femmebot 3.0: Pft. No one cares what’s happening in Mickey Mouse land, where everyone is sleepwalking…hence the nickname SNORELANDOOOO!!!
Femmebot 6.0: We interrupt this interruption with a Tweet: 16-year-old Greta Thunberg is trending after telling world leaders at the UN Climate Summit:
Femmebot 1.0: “You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words!”
Femmebot 5.0: Olha so – we interrupt this Tweet with a Flashback to 1992 when Severn Cullis-Suzuki gave a similar speech at the Rio Summit here in Brazil and no one called her “mentally disabled” or a “pawn for left wing politicos.”
Femmebot 1.0: Honestly – it doesn’t make sense that being good to our planet is a left or right issue.
Femmebot 2.0: Ay, pero, whatevs…the planet will be fine, it’s the humans that will eventually disappear to make room for us robots….Gracias por Facebook, which just bought CTRL-Labs this week….all humans are bout to become: “Insane in the Membrane! Insane in the Brain!” Que? You millennials don’t know Cypress Hill?
Femmebot 1.0: Is that like EDM?
Femmebot 2.0: Ay. Por dios!
Femmebot 6.0: Next week on the Fake News: CEO Tanya Menendez Blazes Trail for Latina Women in Tech…and Dr. Nutmeg is SUPER jealous.