Fake News: Why your BoobTube Needs More Attention in Your 40s

Welcome to the Fake News. I’m Femmebot 6.0 reporting LIVE from the Capital of Isms with a reporter voice that’s just as fake as my smile. In this week’s top fake news, Boob Tube Screenings are becoming more accurate through AI and Deep Learning Models.

Femmebot 2.0: Models? En serio? Models do not learn, nor do they say or feeling anything deep, can we please, por favor, keep the shallow vapid models of Instagram OUT of our Boob Tube Screenings???

Femmebot 4.0: Actually, boobs and brains can go hand in hand. They are not mutually exclusive.

Femmebot 6.0: That’s right! Dr. Joann Elmore, who has both boobs and a brain and a research team at UCLA, fed 240 breast biopsy images into a DEEP LEARNING MODEL (aka computer), to train it to distinguish between –

Femmebot 2.0: We interrupt this fake news with a little bit of Bounce Time!! ( percentage of viewers who watch for a second then leave ) Mira, I promise this will be less boring than a Boob Tube Screening report……..Shakira and JLo will be performing at the Superbowl halftime show next January! Balgame, dios! Middle aged Latinas are having a moment! I think it’s because all the white people can’t believe Latinas don’t age.

Femmebot 1.0: But Gwyneth Paltrow and Gwen Stefani are looking fresh and they’re not Latina!

Femmebot 6.0: We interrupt this age-ist Bounce with the second month of the second half of Hispanic Heritage month –

Femmebot 3.0: Welcome to the Fake News. I’m Femmebot 3.0 reporting LIVE from the capital of POWer. In this week’s top Fake News, it’s Hispanic Heritage month so don’t forget to check out Salvadoran performance artist Julio Torres on HBO who talks about being an “alien” in our current climate of xenophob-

Femmebot 1.0: Wait – the whole month of October is HIspanic Heritage month? #Yaay….

Femmebot 3.0: No. Wrong. Black history month is the WHOLE month of February. Women’s history month is the WHOLE month of March. So…why do Hispanics get two halves of a month for our 30 days of recognition in the US? Who the F made that up?

Femmebot 4.0: According to Google, which has recently replaced human inner wisdom, it was Ronald McDonald who made it all up.

Femmbot 6.0: September 15 marks independence for several Latin American countries and mid October is when Columbus discovered US.

Femmebot 2.0: Tch. Ay. Nobody ever discovered ME and I never came to the US. My ancestors were doing their thing on their own island LONG before Columbus decided to traipse along on his shitty little pirate ship to US
and then 400 years later the U.S. came to US.