Welcome to the Fake News.
I’m Femmebot 6.0 reporting “LIVE” from the Capital of Isms. In this week’s top Fake News, Dr. Nutmeg’s Femmebots celebrated #LaborDayWeekend with moms who are avoiding the pains of labor. How? With good ol fashioned disassociation, aka Virtual Reality – that’s right, while their bodies sweat and bleed to push out their babies, their minds are swimming with dolphins and going on fantasy dates with @maluma.
Femmebot 1.0: Virtual Reality is so much more #Happy! Even women in labor are using VR as an epidural. Tech is so #Cool!
Femmebot 6.0: The #LaborDayWeekend was also a time for Dr. Nutmeg’s Femmebots to binge watch season 3 of #workinmoms on @Netflix.
Femmebot 2.0: Mira, I know you like that Workin’ Moms show on @Netflix, pero c’mon – all the “good guys” are white and all the “bad guys” are brown.
Femmebot 4.0: Actually, there are no “good guys” n the show – the main character is a self-centered narcissist and her best friend is a mean girl bully –
Femmebot 2.0: Sisi, es verdad, pero what I’m sayyyyying is the brown moms are 2-dimensional manipulative cheating fake players and husband thieves, while the white moms get more 3-D screen time so we can empathize with them and their flaws. Entiendes? This is how it always is –
Femmebot 6.0: We interrupt this Fake TV Show Review with a #sea-change: YouTube Star Lilly Singh is launching her very own Late Night Talk Show on NBC this Fall. @Lilly: holler @TheFemmebots when you wanna do a show about LatinX women in tech.
Femmebot 4.0: Dr. Nutmeg was just learning how to code 20 years ago, in 1999 at a LatinX owned startup in a women’s tech incubator – yup, I said a women’s tech incubator, those existed in the early dot-com days, Femmebots were indeed in the dot-com scene, riding segues alongside the Brobots of Google! (which used to have an exclamation point like Yahoo!) and Amazon (whose founder has a name that sounds Latin but it’s in fact inherited by a step-parent – )
Femmebot 3.0: Pft. Who cares about anything anyone was doing 20 years ago? What the F is Dr. Nuts doing NOW in tech?
Femmebot 4.0: Data visualization for state health policymakers. Building web sites, implementing plugins and online forms and optimizing load times and customizing style sheets for entrepreneurs in St. Augustine, think tanks in DC and startups in San Francisco…
Femmebot 5.0: And of course producing, editing and directing The Femmebots Fake News show on YouTube –
Femmebot 2.0: We interrupt this Fake Flashback parading as Video Resume with a spoof we spun called: “Workin Stepmoms!”
Opening title “WORKIN’ STEPMOMS!”
Femmebot 2.0 lounges at a pool. Sleeps late. Dances. Checks email. Talks on phone. Looks at watch.
Femmebot 1.0: You know…now that you have a kid, you should have toys at your house.
Femmebot 3.0: We interrupt this Fake TV show with a Fake economic threat. Category __ Hurricane Dorian is heading straight toward ____, but we’re renters so no investments to stress over.
Femmebot 1.0: What’s a colposcopy?
Femmebot 2.0: Por dios, I’m a toy for Brobots, not a search engine for Kidbots!
Femmebot 1.0: Is this a bad time to mention my bike chain is broken?