Welcome to the Fake News. I’m Femmebot 6.0 reporting LIVE from the Capital of Isms! Before I tell you about humans who are sick of drinking and AI Deepfakes and Wonder Women Tech in London, I just wanna say Dr. Nutmeg programmed us Femmebots to read the Fake News every week as a way to cope with her sadness over the 2016 presidential election and her most recent failed romantic relationship with Prince White Rice…BUT! Rumor Has It our fearless creator is NOT SAD ANYMORE!!
Femmebot 2.0: Tch. Ayyyy. Imposivel! She loves being miserable.
Femmebot 6.0: Well, like I said, Rumor Has It, could be Fake News, could be legit, we’re not sure and we’re too lazy to verify from primary sources the veracity of this statement, but according to clickbait on your browser’s sidebar, Dr. Nutmeg is reportedly #Happy after binge-watching Dr. Norris Chumley’s #HappyHour, a new series on YouTube, which divulges all the secrets to #Happyness straight from the bigass mouths of #BabyBoomers….
Femmebot 3.0: Pft. Right. I doubt that was the reason she’s #Happy. I saw a Tweet from @CannesFilmFestival that she was seen canoodling on the French Riviera with Supermodeltarian Leonardo DiCaprio.
Femmebot 1:0: What’s a Supermodeltarian?
Femmebot 3.0: It’s like a vegetarian or a pescatarian –
Femmebot 1.0: Ewwww! Leonardo DiCaprio eats Supermodels for breakfast???
Femmebot 3.0: And lunch and dinner and dessert.
Femmebot 1.0: Oh no! Dr. Nutmeg is gonna get chewed up and won’t ever come back to re-program us at The Factory??? # WAAAAAAA!
Femmebot 2.0: Oh, she’ll come back all right – cuz first of all, she’s NOT a supermodel, she wishes she was that H-O-T, pero pretty obvi what Leo is up to – he’s commissioning Dr. Nutz to design an entire fleet of Femmebots for him to munch on for the next decade…or next year’s Cannes Film Festival knowing his appetite –
Femmebot 3.0: And, I betchyou my battery life she will come back to The FACTory with more Fake News than EVERrrrr, cuz that’s how it is when you do biz with Supermodeltarians.
Femmebot 4.0: It’s true. The primary source of Fake News is heartbreak and dishonesty and the desire to exploit others for personal gain. Leonardo figures he can be a Supermodeltarian because all Supermodels are InstaFameatarians.
Femmebot 2.0: Ay it’s so weird that one A-Lister’s D can plug into a Femmebot and install a whole new following on the social media interwebz.
Femmebot 6.0: In other Fake News, everything old is new again as humans are reportedly tired of drinking alcohol 100 years after prohibition began in 1919! That’s right, sober hipster hangs in the year 2019 are proliferating all over BK so humans who want to socialize in a bar-like location can do so without having to drink alcohol!
Femmebot 2.0: Entonces, I won’t be able to blame my poor judgments on too many mojitos anymore? Ayyyyyyyy, que lasssssssssstimaaa!
Femmebot 6.0: This is a major evolutional step for humans, they may even catch up to us Femmebots who get upgrades OTR (text: on the regs).
Femmebot 4.0: Same here in San Fran. Humans are paying greater attention to their mental health and wellness, many Americans are specifically reducing their alcohol intake, humans of all ages are drinking less beer, millennials are drinking less overall…. obvi tech companies are reevaluating their alcohol policies and investors wanna capitalize on humans who prefer not to drink.
Femmebot 2.0: Ay, pero what about Bacardi??? Are all their sponsorships gonna be replaced by shrubs?
Femmebot 1.0: Shrubs? Why would bushes replace mojitos?
Femmebot 6.0: According to the Wikis, a Shrub is a mixed drink, it’s the name of two different, but related, acidulated beverages. One type of shrub is a fruit liqueur that was popular in 17th and 18th century England, typically made with rum or brandy, and mixed with sugar and the juice or rinds of citrus fruit.
Femmebot 1.0: Mmmm! Sounds delicious!
Femmebot 2.0: Sounds like no fun to me (sips on tropical drink that looks like mojito).
Femmebot 6.0: In other Fake News, for less than $10, anyone can make an AI write a Fake UN speech.
Femmebot 3.0: Does anyone in the White House know about this?? Could they PLEASE know about this?? Just 10 bucks is a bargain for #45 to actually sound like he READ something?
Femmebot 6.0: In other Fake News, Wonder Women Tech held its second conference of the year in London last week during London Tech Week (@LDNTechWeek).
All attended the conference to promote diversity and inclusion in the tech industry. Our own Dr. Nutmeg will be speaking at the Long Beach Wonder Women Tech this November at the Future of Work Panel…
Femmebot 3.0: Well, that’s IF she returns to The Factory! Who knows if she’ll be the One to crack Leonardo’s Code –
Femmebot 1.0: Ahhhh. And then there will be a big wedding and flowers and cake and they will live #happilyeverafter!
Femmebot 3.0: Eye Roll Emoji.