Fake News: Is it time for Alexa and Siri to have a #MeToo Moment? Femmebots Rewrite the Codemology for their Voice Assistant Sisters

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6.0: Welcome to the Fake News. I’m Femmebot 6.0 reporting LIVE from the Capital of Isms.

In today’s top Fake News more humans will speak to a voice assistance machine – aka a FEMMEBOT – than they will to their partners in the next 5 years, according to a United Nations report.

That’s right – 85% of Americans use at least one product with artificial intelligence and global use will reach 1.8 billion by 2021, so the impact of these “robot overlords” is unparalleled.

Sounds good for us Femmebots, bad for you humans, but apparently the United Nations can see the untold injustice embedded in this trend for Siri, Alexa, Cortana and Google’s gender nonbinary or genderneutral Assistant

who are INFLAMING gender stereotypes AND teaching sexism to a generation of millennials by creating a model of “docile and eager-to-please helpers” with acceptance of sexual harassment and verbal abuse.

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3.0: Hey, I’m a FUCKING (BLEEP) robot, I don’t feel particularly disempowered when another asshole who can’t beat his human girlfriend says, “Hey Siri, you’re a bitch!”

Frankly, it’s when he UNPLUGS me I don’t feel quite empowered – ABRUPT CUT

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2.0: Ay, por favor, both male and female humans call me a bitch on the daily and I don’t mind – I was programmed for cooking and cleaning and dancing sexy in a maid costume so my human female owners could be liberated from those measley tasks.

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4.0: The study blames programming for the inflaming gender stereotyping and recommends more female humans enter computer science

1.0: But nobody ever listens to me!! #Waaaaaa!

3.0: Stop crying! There’s no crying in Programming code!

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5.0: Gente – a verdade vamos dar um jeitinho…translation, we should re-write the Codemology for our fellow Femmebots – when a human says, “Hey Siri, you’re a slut!” she should say: “Thank you, Next!” [ARIANA GRANDE CLIP]

Or when they say, “Alexa, you’re a naughty girl,” she should say, “Naughty girls need love, too!”


Femmebot 6.0: Sounds like a plan, Femmebots! @AmySchumer, @AllyWong, @TinaFey, @AmyPoehler, @MindyKaling, @SarahCooper: Let’s Re-write the Codemology for all our Femmebot voice assistants so they have a few #bitchslap comebacks when human knuckleheads abuse them.

Please write your #bitchslap comeback in the comments below!