The Femmebots

Education

Nova Southeastern University
MBA Business
2007 – 2009

•Advertising Intern, Turbulence Advertising-Miami, Florida 2008-2009
•Strategic Marketing Intern, MAPEI Corporation-Deerfield Beach, Florida Summer 2008
•Graduate Assistant, Nova Southeastern University-Fort Lauderdale, Florida 2007-2008
•The Work Life Balance Institute, 2008 Grant Recipient awarded to five of 200+ applicants, Fort Lauderdale, Florida 2008
•Certificate of Outstanding Achievement Award, Graduate Business School Association, Fort Lauderdale, Florida 2008

Experience

Marketing Director @ Inphonex
May 2009 – December 2009 ( 8 months)
•    Communicated with counterparts in Sales, Product, and Sales Operations to ensure timely and accurate product delivery
•    Managed 15+ major client relationships within 3 months which produced $80,000+ in monthly revenue
•    Stepped in as Sales Manager based on the changing needs of the organization, with increased responsibilities and revenue goals
•    Restructured 10+ person customer care team to include revenue goals of $24,000+ month
•    Maintained accurate reports and drafted contracts between company and clients resulting in ongoing, successful closes
•    Produced marketing/pitch material and promotions for 3,000 end users and 300 active resellers of VoIP monthly
• Identified and wrote best practices for sales department regarding deal flow, communication and delivery of products to customers

Expert Network Manager @ Genesis Exchange
Financial Services industry
April 2006 – June 2007 (1 year 3 months)

• Performed comprehensive research and designed marketing strategy for approval by board members and angel investors
• Conducted interviews with 15+ bank regulators to understand the feasibility of new software development and application
• Led the implementation of an extensive redesign for customer retention, increasing revenue by $10,000+ monthly
• Developed and maintained positive relations with over 20+ corporate accounts throughout the US and Canada
• Trained and coached 6 employees; encouraged a positive team environment

Sales Director @ Sun Post Newspaper
January 2005 – April 2006 (1 year 4 months)

•Exceeded sales goals from $5,000 to $11,110 within first month
•Obtained over 45% of new client base within 4 months
•Collaborated with clients on advertising and marketing in key demographic areas
•Received company achievement award as “Rookie of The Year 2006”
•Served as Brand Management Team Ambassador to increase brand awareness and readership

English Teacher @ Annnuban Chiang Mai School
January 2003 – January 2005 (2 years 1 month)

•Selected by management to act as lead model classroom teacher in nationwide English pilot program
•Spearheaded bi lingual event planning and coordination to exhibit the benefits of new student enrollment
•Increased enrollment from 12 to 35 students within first month of launch
•Built partnership between two elementary schools which resulted in 300+ English books being donated from the US

The year is 2050 on Planet MyAmi. The evil Femmebots are a crew of bad girlz who invented the “Boob Tube,” breast implants that allow them to shoot brainwashing multimedia at anyone who stares too long.

“I really have to thank the private equity B-O-Yz we worked for in Coconut Grove for inspiring this lucrative high tech device,” says Gysela MyAmi, CEO and “Urban Mermaid” of The Femmebots Multimedia Productions. “Their elevator eyes helped me refine my elevator pitch.”

Femmebots strategic planner Pluton, aka, “Witch of Coconut Grove,” added that Mike Meyers’ Femmebots in Austin Powers set a great precedent in the late 20th century. “The fact that I can blast anyone who’s not paying attention is a total time saver. I can’t believe how much easier it is to close deals.”

The Femmebots Crew
Princesa
Born and raised in LA, but a regular on the “catwalks” of NYC, Planet MyAmi and Chicago, this Aztec Princesa is muse to artists, musicians, designers and Wall Street stiffs alike. Homegirl has implemented sales strategies for Chanel and L’Oreal. Oh, and she likes cooking, eating, drinking wine, listening to music, dancing – straight off her Facebook page. LOL.

Virtual Gypsy
“I am an actress, improviser, writer, filmmaker and performer with a broadcast journalism degree living in New York City. Art is why I am here…I want to be part of it and create it and share it with everyone. I love to travel and I adore diversity. I am working on creating an art revolution.”

Devil’s Advocate
A graduate of Florida International University, this Planet MyAmi native is regional sales manager for ADP (yeah, the peeps who write your paychecks!). Words of wisdom from this little devil? “Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that’s where your future lies.”

The Indigo Fairy
I’m a fairy because I tend to become the characters I write about. Oh yeah, I’m a writer. Been doing it since I was 10. And been doing yoga since I was in the crib. My parents used to call it my “exercises.”

Pluton the Witch
I was raised by two writers, in a world in which the arts were essential. A few years ago, I began a metaphormosis, entering a world of spirituality and self-discovery… A few other things about me…I need coffee in the morning otherwise it’s not pretty…

Urban Mermaid, aka, Gysela MyAmi
This flight attendant says: “I WOULD RATHER BE HATED FOR WHO I AM, THAN BE LOVED FOR WHO AM NOT.” Translation: DON’T HATE ME CUZ I’M HOT!!!

by Femmebot

David Letterman is using the socially responsible investment model by admitting to his viewers that he had sex with a few of his “subordinates.” So is The Apple and the Environment site. It reveals that the company is responsible for 10.2 million metric tons of greenhouse emissions. It includes in that number the amount of emissions caused by consumers using its products.

Apparently, if the powers-that-be admit their wrong-doings, the public can feel better and forgive them of their trespasses. And then what?

When the baby misbehaves, he usually gets a spanking. How do we spank Letterman and Apple? And should we spank ourselves, too, since we’re the ones patronizing these capitalists? This is suddenly becoming an arousing post with all this spanking! But I diverge…Is it enough for them to apologize and then educate their constituents? Should we make Letterman teach a class on Sexual Harrassment 101?

Letterman: Hello, class, welcome to Sexual Harrassment 101. I am teaching the class so I can also learn from my own mistakes. We are going to use my own personal experiences as lessons. Take a look at the syllabus:

Week 1: We are all adults here and we all have free will, so why not?

Week 2: My wife won’t mind because she’s got a nice lifestyle and she understands a man of status and wealth needs to connect with other women, especially ones working in my field, “who speak my language.”

Week 3: How to spin a scandal into higher ratings so advertisers don’t pull out since everyone and their mom is watching YouTube instead of TV.

Sign up for Letterman’s class TODAY! I’m joking, but wouldn’t it be cool to feature this as a L-I-V-E online workshop on TheFemmebots.com via Ustream.tv? Hmmm.

After that class, you may want to check out the F-A-K-E Apple workshop:

Week 1: How politicians don’t have to get elected to influence citizens/consumers (can u say Al Gore and the modern documentary for big screen theater?)

Week 2: How to use carbon credits to offset pollution guilt, make more money and other Emperor’s New Clothes emerging on the markets.

Week 3: Insiders’ Panel – Apple board members tell-all about their latest investments. Hint: They float on melted icebergs.

W-O-R-Dz by Femmebot

The other night I was watching TV with the B-O-Y rather than retreating to the BRAIN to do what Femmebots like to do (read, write, draw, listen to music). I watched so much TV growing up, that I don’t care much for it at this time in my life (34 years old), as my energy seems to have become more sensitive to its attempts at brainwashing.

He likes to watch two-to-three programs at a time, often alternating between the “Ouch! My Balls!” Idiocracy type of footage on TruTV,  House Hunters International on HGTV and last night, “Sons of Anarchy,” a new series on FX. You can guess that the only one I can tolerate is the HGTV show (which does a great job of making viewers feel like “I want that!”), and the others are pure crap. I wouldn’t write a single W-O-R-D about any of them, but I need to vent about a scene that made me start protesting like a dyke on Market Street in San Francisco.

First, let me build up to it…I found it odd that a show on cable (not HBO or Showtime) featured strippers with pasties dancing on poles…then I squealed when I saw a guy get shot in the face, and the camera didn’t just let me “infer” what had happened…and then – trumpets blowing and drums rolling – “Gemma,” played by Katey Sagal (the mom from Married…With Children), finds herself kidnapped, tied up to a fence and gang-raped by white supremacists. This one literally made me yelp, “Oh my God, this is so graphic and unnecessary and I can’t believe this is on regular TV!” to which Sharky B replied, “It’s part of the story. As a creative person, you should be able to appreciate it.”

Am I just getting my period? Or is he desensitized? Or are TV producers trying to get me to write about this shitty show modeled after Shakespeare’s Hamlet on my blog, to increase their Internet media coverage?

Controversy. Sensationalism. Violence. These are the competitive tools of capitalism in the 21st century. “If it bleeds, it leads,” has always been the mantra of the newsroom, which is one of the reasons I left it. I left the business world because offices have become competitions in “who’s got the most sex appeal?” I stopped working for people because I kept hitting glass ceilings.

Hmmm. Welcome to reality. Welcome to the real world, little Girl Scout! No matter where I run, I find the same backasswards, sexist, stupid shit. I am wondering if I am too uptight? Expecting too much? Absorbing too much and not letting it roll off my back with ease and nonchalance?

Maybe I’m just getting my period.

So I take a few yoga breaths. I look out at the ocean. Are these just temporary escapes before returning to TheMultiD? Which one is reality? Which one is fiction? I check my Facebook for positive newz from friends and family and then I see all the posts about Lady Gaga’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. OMG. Yes, it is literally true: If it bleeds, it leads! Lady Gaga is hanging from a rope all bloody and I’m all, “That’s a Femmebot!” Femmebots either have no heads or have bloody ones from hitting so many glass ceilings.

It’s probably worse  than Sons of Anarchy – she’s a total sex object, she’s got blood covering her body, her porn lyrics are hypnotizing yet another female generation to use their sexual prowess to get what they want – and I am totally into it. It’s freaking performance art! Did she think of this herself like Madonna thought of the “Like A Virgin?” number 20 years ago? And is the pop music world where a Femmebot can make commentary about the hypocrises and complications of being a woman in a man’s world?

Who knows. At the end of the day, I give him a massage and he washes the dishes. We take care of each other, and apparently THIS is reality, and not the expressions of other BRAINz in TheMultiD.