Dr. Nutmeg’s Fake News for January 2019

Welcome to the Fake News. I’m Dr. Nutmeg reporting LIVE from Planet MyAmi on January 8, 2019.

In today’s Fake News, I am not smart. I have no skills. I am ugly. My hair sucks. Nobody loves me. I am 14 years old. I have traits of Borderline Personality Disorder. And sometimes I’m a little bit Bipolar. Men don’t want to collaborate with me. I am not capable. I can’t run a business. I don’t deserve to make money for the work I do. My work is sub-par. I am unprofessional. I am unstable. I am not worthy. I am old. I have commitment issues layered on top of anger issues. I am Latina. I am black. I am Native American. I am unorganized. I can’t stick to a budget. I am unreliable. Did I already say no one loves me? No one needs me. No one’s life depends on me. My life doesn’t depend on anyone. Women hate me. My ass is too big. My emotions are too erratic. I am full of viruses. My web site is secure. I am secure. I am confident. I love paying taxes. The president represents me. The president can arbitrarily re-define the meaning of an emergency. You never want to give a platform to somebody who is known to lie a lot but here we are, there you are, here I am. I am not a witch. I am not a fairy. I am not a mermaid. I am a devil. My heart is weak. I can’t swim 3,000 yards in 90 minutes. I am a failure. I am a mess. I am happy. The sun isn’t shining.

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